I should have gone to jail for all the musical theatre I did in high school tbh I was wild for that

Hi Everyone-

Happy New year!! Welcome to our second hot Drule of the year and it’s going to be quite fire. Has everyone been having a good year so far? I’m sorry, I hate that question, it’s always too soon to say; I’ve had diarrhea for most of 2024 so far so it doesn’t seem great. But maybe my body is just trying to tell me out with the old, in with the new!

One thing I will definitely keep with me in the new year is my obsession for the artist, Pitbull. Something about a lot of his music is that he is always referring to how he dealt crack in high school. He’s been talking about this in rap for like, 25 years. I mean he definitely talks about other stuff like having sex with tons of women, but it always comes back to “I used to deal crack” and I just can’t help but think that if it was me, I would be writing raps talking about how in high school I used to do musical theatre. He thought crack was going to be his life, I thought musical theatre was going to be mine. Although I really don’t talk talk that much about my musical theatre days. I might if they had really crazy stories about staying out late doing musical theatre, making thousands of dollars doing musical theatre, constantly running from the cops in case they caught me doing musical theatre. But all my stories are about crying that I didn’t get the part and getting horny at school because I was there at 11 pm with a ton of other high schoolers playing never have I ever. What an embarrassing war I was fighting in.

What’s not embarrassing would be coming to DRULE COMEDY!!!!! TONIGHT!!!! Free, as always, and also I’m single so come hit on me (unless you’re a man). Got some fire fire comics for you tonight, including the old fav !Brittany Cardwell!! known for starting the show with me 100 years ago!!!

See you there!!!!!

-Claire bear

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This week's lineup features:

SABEEN SADIQ, @sabeencomedy, Codeswitched

KYLIE VINCENT, @kylievincentthefirst, Comedy Central, Adult Swim

BRITTANY CARDWELL, @brittonuscardwell, Ambush Comedy, Worthless Clowns Podcast

VERONICA GARZA, @veros_got_jokes, PBS, MTV

JESSICA SELE, @jessicasele, Viceland

And your host, Claire Alexander, @clairebearpears , Reductress, The Dump