It’s okay I can make fun of Scotland, 110 years ago my ancestors left there because they were making fun of it too

Tonight, Thursday, February 29th, 9 pm at 354 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11211

Hi all-

Good evening again, forgive me for interrupting your work happy hour with my little message that is supposed to be about how I want you to come to my show, but mainly it’s my vessel where I say whatever I want and email it to 1,000 people.

Earlier this week, many people in Glasgow were utterly disappointed when they attended a Willy Wonka “experience” that appeared nothing like the AI pictures advertising it. At first, when I saw this all over my timeline, I was annoyed because the world is in more chaos than I think I’ve ever witnessed. But then I saw through this piece of news, that two things that unite civilization, are 1) Feeling justified in hating a customer service experience and 2) While we’re at it, making fun of Scottish people.

I do have to admit, growing up and not being diagnosed with ADHD until I was 15, a lot of my school projects looked like this Willy Wonka scene. When I first saw this, I almost got defensive thinking “Hey maybe that’s what it looks like in the book.” Scottish people clearly don’t have good enough drugs to enjoy an afternoon in an empty convention center-looking room. And they clearly CLEARLY don’t have any drugs on them at all because they called the cops. And while I would argue that one of the only appropriate times to call the cops is when you’re in a fake Willy Wonka Instagram exhibit, it is probably one of the most unhinged Karen moves I’ve seen. Whoever called the cops there probably also would call the cops if they accidentally got croutons on a ceasar salad they ordered with no croutons. This girl just really wants her taxpayer’s worth.

I’m really excited to have a party that is “Fake Instagram Willy Wonka Exhibit” themed, that way I don’t have to clean my house before hosting it, I just have to hang up a few posters and start cooking meth in my living room.

I’ll tell you one thing that’s going to be worth your time- tonight’s Drule Comedy! You don’t even have to be on drugs to enjoy it, and this is a project I’ve been working on for years, after being prescribed adderal so you know I put my heart and soul into it. This lineup tonight is a superb one if I do say so myself, and you will too when you get your ass to Fette Sau tonight!!!!

Lots of love,

Claire bear

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This week's lineup features:

BRITTANY CARNEY

LAUREN HOPE KRASS

CONNOR CREAGAN

MOLLY BRENNER

SHATHA YAS

And your host, Claire Alexander, @clairebearpears, Reductress, The Hard Times, The Dump