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  • Writer's pictureClaire A

SORRY WE WEREN’T HERE LAST WEEK IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN (EXCEPT FOR THANKSGIVING)

Updated: Dec 27, 2023


Tonight, Thursday, November 2nd, 9 pm at 354 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11211


Hi all-

Did you miss us? Of course you did. And if not, don’t answer that. Sorry we had to cancel the show last week, I was at the Pitbull concert, which, if you don’t already know, is a very serious experience for me. Some guys named Enrique Iglesias and Ricky Martin were there too (the three of them are touring together)- and if you’re going, I suggest going to the bathroom during Enrique. Literally no dancing at all, just walking around the stage. So lame. “Tonight I’m fucking you?” No you’re not, not with those moves and clothes from 2014. He was wearing a wallet chain. Which, I guess if I was still leaning on the money I made from my career 30 years ago I would also need to keep my change on a leash.

I am fully aware I bought tickets to the has-been tour. but honestly, think about where you were the last time you heard “Mr. Worldwide” in a song. Probably super hammered and 19 years old. Don’t we all want to travel back in time to the moment these Latin legends were peaking? Before you felt guilt for buying things from amazon? Before you realized you are the one responsible for plunging the toilet? Before you found out that you owe the government $200 for accidently filing for unemployment when you actually had been employed?

Also the tickets were super cheap and I’m pretty tight with my money considering the whole “owing the government $200” thing.

Anyway, tonight I have five HOT performers that are going to absolutely blow that piece of shit Enrique Iglesias’s act out of the water tonight and you’re not going to want to miss this awesome show. Happy to see you again, oh! Also hope you guys had a good halloween!!! And see you tonight!!!

Love, Claire

P.S. Sorry for dragging Enrique- I know he’s not on the subscribers list, but I still feel bad in case any of you are friends with him, so let’s just keep this between the 1,000 of us. Also, honestly I totally understand that he wanted to just have a chill night onstage at Madison Square Garden, we’ve all been there!

P.S.S. I’m just kidding Enrique I love you and would do anything for you

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This week's lineup features:

CORINNE FISHER, @philanthropygal, Guys We Fcked

MAGGIE LALLEY, @magslals, Sex Witch the Musical, Edinburgh Fringe

CALVIN CATO, @calvinscato, Netflix, GSN, Vice

ATHEER YACOUB, @atheeryacoub, Comedy Central

BEKAH HESS, @bekahiscool_, Rat Candy Show

And your host, Claire Alexander, @clairebearpears , Reductress, The Dump

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