Tonight, Thursday, July 11th, 9 pm at 354 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11211
Hi y’all-
Last week was a doozy for me- I went to a club and I was also in a hot dog eating contest and both were super humbling.
I do love a little club time here and there- I have this very good friend who is a total club kid and knows all the spots that the celebs hang out and whatnot, which is going to be incredible lore to tell my kids one day. Yeah, the drinks and getting dressed up part is really fun, but my favorite is the fact that one day my future children will not be able to deny that I got bottle service a few times when I was in my 20’s and that’s one of the most powerful things you can have I believe.
I will say though, I am much more of a fan of a bar than a club- and that’s because I’m way better at talking than I am at dancing. Sure, I’m not a perfect speaker, despite my major in communications, and talking has definitely gotten me into trouble and accidentally out of relationships, but, as a woman with no flavor, I have gotten into way more trouble trying to shake my ass. And because of this, I’ve become the girl at the club who is trying to talk all the time. The most common thing I’ve heard in the club besides music I don’t know is people yelling “WHAT?” to me when I’m trying to do a bit about how the DJ is balding or whatever. But my kids don’t have to know that I’m a loser at the club.
You can’t be a loser at the bar, the bar is full of losers. We’re all here because we couldn’t get into the club. I can’t make fun of the guy drinking alone, I literally was in a vegan hot dog eating contest. (also something I might not tell my kids). I have no ground to stand on.
Also, I lost the contest, thank god, because I didn’t want to put my body through too much. I aimed for 3ish hot dogs, and in the contest, after 3, I still had some time and room in my stomach so I went for a fourth. I will not eat a hot dog again for about several months.
Anyway, one thing that makes you cool always is coming to my comedy show DRULE tonight!!!!! Omg yay!!!! We’ve got an exciting guest host that you know and love tonight, Brittany Cardwell!!! No worries I will be there too I’m just not hosting because my throat is still healing from all those hot dogs. But I love you and I will see you tonight you hot babes!!!!
XOXO,
Claire bear pears
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