Are Heineken 0.0’s Good?

Hey y’all-

I’m still here babes!! I know I’ve been on and off a little as of late, I’ve just been super busy and, as always, hungover. What is it about Wednesdays that makes a girl wanna go bottle to the face?

I hope one day I’ll stop drinking- right now a lot in my life has been going well so I’ve been having fun partying with friends, but I honestly hate how similar the feelings after always are. I love love love enjoying a glass of wine with people I love, having a cocktail with someone I just met, and having a beer with someone I hate that I ran into at a party and now we’re having a conversation. Drinking rules. But the second I go home, I’m just like, now what? I have no energy, I want to eat Taco Bell, and also my fingers hover over the “send” button on a text that has no business being out in the ether. 

I used to love a good hangover (I know, I’m crazy, but hear me out!) I was just talking about this with my therapist. I was encouraged to work very hard in school, in camp, and in whatever I was doing, so when I was introduced to my first hangover, I felt no guilt about not getting out of bed, in the way I normally would. But now I’m totally over it. At this point, I’ve watched all of my favorite TV, ordered everything off the Popeye’s menu, and have Pedialyte permanently running through my bloodstream. I’m just over it!!!

I have always loved drinking on weeknights- as a comic who’s been working in the restaurant industry for years- those are my favorite. Less people are at the best bars, and they’re just as fun!! And don’t worry- you can still get the same money-wasting experience that you would on a weekend if you just make sure to hop in an Uber at 1 am when no one else is looking for them and they know how valuable they are. And there’s nothing that feels more badass than staying in on a Friday- it’s like a huge F U to society- I can get drunk whenever I want! It doesn’t have to be on your specific days!! Down with the system!! You never have to wait in line in painful heels to eat pasta on your couch and watch the OC.

For me, dating and doing anything labeled as a “gay party” is what has got me drinking more than I have before. It just seems like each opportunity is a once-in-a-lifetime one, and I’d like a martini in my hand while doing it! My therapist suggested I maybe smoke more weed instead of drinking- but I think if I was smoking more weed, then I would just be staying home and missing out on everything in general! Which- oh wait- may have been her point overall.

Anyway- I’ll tell you this- I am not staying in tonight sisters!! We’ve got an amazing show here for you guys tonight at sexy Drule comedy and I think its going to blow the roof off of your pants or something. 

Love you and see you tonight,

Claire