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  • Writer's pictureClaire A

I have a lover sun, but I'm definitely a hater rising, with a bad music taste moon (I don’t actually understand astrology)

Hi all-

My friends (just my two roommates) all think I’m a “lover” and not a “hater,” and I guess I agree. I do try to see the good in things (which isn’t that hard, I am literally on medication for doing that), but don’t get me wrong, I still do have a lot of controversial opinions.

I am self-aware that I have bad music taste. I listen to Pitbull, genuinely, without the littlest amount of irony. His music makes me happy. I really hate listening to sad music or slow songs where I can hear the words well enough that they could hurt me. My day is ruined if I catch some words in a song that describe a deep and beautiful connection about love at the wrong time of the month; (I’m not talking about my period, I’m just talking about how I usually get broken up once a month.) What makes me happy is upbeat tunes with a little bit of sexism I won’t really be able to tell is there until some guy I still follow from college makes them his Instagram caption and I read it clearly.

I also really hate bar activities. I am a big sports hater for the most part, and I want to go to the bar and chill and hang with my friends, not compete with them. When someone has asked me if I want to play pool I have never responded with “yes.” To me, pool is just a game that gives people purpose to yell at you for getting too close to them, because you can’t have personal space in any other place in a crowded bar. Maybe I should just start carrying a giant stick everywhere and be like “Excuse me sorry I have to put this directly in your way” to make space. Have you ever thought you were about to get hit on and then it turns out they are just asking you to move your fat ass out of the way of their game? This has happened to me lots and lots of times. Why am I supposed to respect your choice to play a little game while I am just trying to be a sophisticated grown up and black out with my friends. I also hate how bars put the pool table in the center with a spotlight on it, like it’s the attraction to the bar. What??? The attraction to the bar is the drug you guys sell that makes me happy. The spotlight is also stupid because the second you bend over to actually use the pool cue (yes I have played before, I promise) there is just a bright light shining on your underwear coming out of the back of your pants. Evil stuff. I think they need to make murphy bed pool tables so that they can get that shit out of the way when people are just trying to vibe. Can you tell I just got dumped by someone who loves pool? I need to listen to some Pitbull.

Anyway, one thing I do not hate, and will always love, is my baby show Drule, tonight!!!! At Fette Sau, and we have some of the hottest and baddest bitches from the east coast with us, and some amazing people from out of town who I love and miss very much!!!!! So get your asses over here for a free show!!


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