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  • Writer's pictureClaire A

Let’s re-brand one-night stands

Tonight, Thursday, April 11th, 9 pm at 354 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11211

Hi all-

Hope everyone is having an interesting and safe eclipse, post-earthquake, OJ-died-today week! The current events are absolutely off the chain right now!

Speaking of current events, I recently had a one-night-stand (sorry Dad!) my first in a long time. I haven’t really had a gay one-night stand before because they usually end up being four or five-night stands, so this was basically the first time I left a woman’s apartment without proposing. But are one-night-stands even real anymore if you are the first person to view my Instagram story for the next year?

We don’t really have one-hit-wonder songs anymore because of the media’s interest in everything these days. It used to be that your career would die young, now it just turns you into the modern-day Jojo Siwa (who I will say, I love as a queer icon, and I also love seeing 21-year-olds behave embarrassingly- it makes me feel valid in the cringe behaviors I had at that age, but I am never going to listen to her music, sorry babe.)

The same thing has happened to one-night stands, now with technology, you can’t just see someone one time and move on thinking of it as a funny story. Genuinely, it’s probably because of the shame and sluttiness associated with going home with someone from the bar. Although technology has advanced, society hasn’t, and we feel the need to force a relationship with people we have nothing in common with because we want to justify our actions to meet old standards. It was probably so nice in the 80’s when you would have bad sex (or even good sex, just no connection, or you don’t want a relationship right now or whatever) with a stranger and then just say “Oh well, I’ll never see them again.” But now the little mean voice in our heads that holds your biological clock says “No you should probably make it work with that random person. Otherwise, you’re a whore and don’t you want to get married one day?”

I have always thought they were fun! One-night stands are a great way to explore the city at 8 am on a Saturday with unbrushed teeth. Great way to see if that 5 by 9 $1400 a month room in Bushwick really can fit a queen-sized bed. But most importantly, a great way to feel like you went out there and you were successfully hot. Cue the: “It was the blowout!!” New Girl Scene.

So I vote that we make the special, occasional one-night stand, just one night again before we keep forcing Jojo-style relationships out of something that was fun once. (Jojo, I do love you.)

Speaking of current events, tonight I have an incredible show for you with new friends, old friends, but all friends on this lineup are super duper funny and you’re going to love them and eat them all up.

Have a great night and weekend and I’ll see you tonight!!!

-Claire bear

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