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  • Writer's pictureClaire A

Men Who Serve C*nt (and one maybe jail time!)

Updated: Mar 6


DRULE!! Tonight, Thursday, October 19th, 9 pm at 354 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11211


Omg a few weeks ago I wrote a long email about how I hate hangovers and now every week since I have been writing you this email so hungover.

I just started writing for a late night tv podcast called The Dump (@the_news_dump) so I’ve had to read the news for the first time in my life and I’ve become obsessed with how c*nty the US senate is.

My favorite is PA Senator John Fetterman because, like me, he has tattoos and depression. I love how he’s not afraid to talk about mental health and how he dresses like a hungover famous actor getting Starbucks in the people magazine “stars are just like us” paparazzi photos. I want to cry at Panera with him.

Problematic king NJ Senator Bob Menendez is a little more c*nty. This girl looooves her money. Bob might face jail time for taking bribes of GOLD BARS (I know, who even has those? but I’ll take them), but my genuine feelings are “yeah duh, isn’t that the point of getting into politics?” If I was friends with him and he was telling me he did this, I would be like “damn, you’re absolutely crazy for that- I wouldn’t do that and you totally could fuck us over but get your bag I guess!!!” I can’t hate someone for being a piece of shit at their job! I mean I haven’t accepted bribes and I don’t work for the government, but I have made out with a coworker in the supply closet! None of us are perfect! It’s just his day job! I mean a pretty important day job that again, can’t stress enough, changes the lives of everyone in this country. But that’s why every state has two senators anyway, you know, so that one can do the job and the other one can fuck around and take advantage of the government! (I think? I’m still learning about the senate)

Also he just got in trouble for pretending to be a foreign agent which I can’t get mad at either because that’s exactly what I spent my childhood playing pretend as.

Anyway,

Tonight’s show has some of the funniest people I’ve met doing comedy over the past few years with some special out of towners, and some heavy hitters and they are all going to be at Fette Sau so you should come!! We also won’t have a show next week because I have tickets to go see Pitbull so def come tonight!

Love,

Claire <3

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This week's lineup features:

SAMANTHA RUDDY, @samlymatters The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, The Tonight Show

AMAMAH SARDAR, @amamahsardar , Girls Aren't Funny series feat in the Bushwick Film Fest

GABBY GUTIERREZ-REED, @shishgabab Firecracker Comedy

PAMELA ROSS, @pamnotanderson , Limestone Comedy Festival, McSweeney’s

MOLLY KORNFELD, @molly_kornfeld , New York Comedy Festival Comics to Watch

And your host, Claire Alexander, @clairebearpears , Reductress, The Dump Podcast

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Note from 3/6/24: Just to be clear, I want to mention after writing this, that I don't entirely agree politically with either of these politicians. So no matter how much I say I looooove these girlinas, they are men after all and I will never trust them.

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