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  • Writer's pictureClaire A

Nervous, but Nervous!!!


Changing this girl’s contact to this did help for a minute because I just decided to assume she liked me until she told me otherwise, which she in fact did tell me she didn’t want to date about a week later lol. But I got the peace I needed that week! This is a fake name btw but I very much did have a girl’s number saved like this for a little lmao.


Tonight, Thursday, March 21st, 9 pm at 354 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11211

Hi beautiful friends in my email,

I have this really annoying thing, I don’t know if you guys have heard of it, called anxiety? I have social anxiety, I have dating anxiety, I have anxiety inception (anxiety about why I’m so anxious all the time) it’s all so annoying.

I get it, everyone has anxiety, mine is just probably really bad because my brain was built to survive the apocalypse better than you. The problem is for some reason my brain is convinced the apocalypse is happening every time I don’t get a text back, and I constantly have to consciously tell myself “no Claire, don’t worry, your friends who you hang out with all the time and tell you they love you still like you.” If the apocalypse actually happened, and a ton of people hit me up on what my plan was, I would definitely save the world, but then I would probably be like “do all those people just want to hang out with me because I saved the world? Do they even like my taste in music?”

I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember, I didn’t know what the feeling was called when I was younger. This is why reading is important- if I had done it more, I would have had many more words to tell a therapist about my feelings besides “I feel excited but in, like, an evil way.” It would manifest in my body very physically, to the point where I could not go to the bathroom in public places, or in stressful situations. But I didn’t let that ruin my high school experience! What did ruin my high school experience was deadlines on projects when I had adhd, not knowing what to major in in college, or where to go, being deeply in the closet on the days when all the girls would wear their cheerleading uniforms to school, and always getting cast as ensemble.

I hate anxiety, it’s the worst. But what’s cool is that there is enough good stuff in life that makes the anxiety worth pushing through. When I was in college, I studied abroad in Costa Rica, and held my pee in for an entire day because of all the public restrooms, and I still had an incredible time because I really tried to focus on the moment. (I’m a lot better now) So, I think the moral of the story is to have a lot of money, because then you can go on hikes in Costa Rica all the time and that can distract your brain from being convinced that embarrassing thing you said to the Amazon prime delivery guy is going to ruin your life.

One thing you can do that’s FREE to fix your brain, is attend my BEAUTIFUL comedy show tonight!!!!! It’s going to be so hot and fun, and I have so much to chat about. I can’t wait to see you there!!!

Love,

Claire

_____________

This week's lineup features:

CLARE AUSTEN-SMITH (The Onion)

DIVYA GUNASEKARAN (Warner Bros Comedic Voices)

FLORA MANON (Irritable Bitch Show)

JEN GITTESS (Stand Up NY)

VERONICA KWAITKOWSKI (Hot Sets)

And your host, Claire Alexander, @clairebearpears, Reductress, The Hard Times, The Dump


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