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  • Writer's pictureClaire A

Tragedy strikes New York as 51,402 marathon runners are diagnosed with Main Character Syndrome

Updated: Dec 27, 2023


Tonight, Thursday, November 9th, 9 pm at 354 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11211


Hi all-

For the past month or so, it has rained every single weekend in NYC, until this weekend, when a much worse thing happened: so many of the most annoying men you’ve ever met now have gained the bragging rights that they finished the New York City Marathon. This yearly occurrence will once again poison dating apps as men finally have a new picture to add that wasn’t taken by their ex girlfriend, and will unfortunately give false hope that he’s ready for commitment. “It takes a lot of commitment to run 26.2 miles!” You might say to yourself. But alas- think of what he’s doing during those miles- running. Meaning, he is not afraid to rush away from your borough at any moment.

I have the worst possible news in the world; I myself have begun to run a little bit. I’m not that serious!! I don’t have a problem! I can stop whenever I want! I only do it socially! But honestly, I loooooove doing a little activity that is bad for me, and I think running is exactly that.

Adding running to your life is awkward though, people always say to replace smoking with running, but I’m never at a bar at 1 in the morning like “let’s go for a run.” Actually that’s not true, we’ve all been there, but that just means we should stop casually doing cocaine as well. But you can’t replace smoking with running- how are you supposed to hit on someone by asking for a light? “Hey, do you mind if I borrow a running shoe?” I’m losing you I know.

Anyway, I have several comedians on the show tonight who I guarantee you will NOT lose you. They are all bad ass rockstars and pretty famous and my dad follows a ton of them on instagram. Tonight is going to slay, and I hope I see you there!!!!

-Claire <3

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This week's lineup features:

ADAM CONOVER, @adamconover, Adam Ruins Everything

BLAIRE POSTMAN, @postmancomedy, Lady ADHD Show

VERONICA GARZA, @veros_got_jokes, PBS

CAMILLE ROBERTS, @camillerobertsverified, Comedy Central

TRACY MCCLENDON, @clearlygenius, Sexy Little Goober Show, The Stand

And your host, Claire Alexander, @clairebearpears , Reductress, The Dump

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